Don't Go Looking For Happiness
by forbrighterdays
Summary: When Blair finds out that she's really pregnant, she decides to go to a therapist to help sort her life out. B/N futurefic.


**Don't Go Looking For Happiness**

A Gossip Girl One Shot.

--

Blair Waldorf was a runner, she always had been. Not technically, but definitely mentally. When things didn't go her way or she didn't like how they were turning out, she ran. When her parents constantly fought she'd wind up in the park, walking around and finding herself in the peace and quiet. When she and Nate had a fight she went to her best friend for comfort. When everyone turned against her she turned to her bed for a safe hiding place. And when there was no one left to turn to, Blair went to her middle finger to help purge out all her impurities.

Blair wouldn't admit that she was a coward; she was too good for that. But she wasn't against having self pity parties (she threw those often).

So when Blair Waldorf found out she was pregnant (and it wasn't just a scare) with Nate's child she turned to a doctor, because, at that point, she figured she needed all the professional help she could get.

--

"Alright Miss Waldorf, how can I help you today?" Her therapist, Dr. Emily Mason, asked.

"Well, you see, my life is a total wreck." She paused, but Dr. Mason encouraged her to go on, so she did. "I, uh, I just found out that I was pregnant and I'm scared. I mean, I'm only twenty-three, and my boyfriend, the baby's father, and I just went through a huge breakup. I know I'm not ready to see him again, but he deserves to know, it's his child, I can't just leave him in the dark about it. I just can't seem to bring myself to go talk to him. I don't know who to turn too, and this is too much to take all by myself, so I came to you." Blair gushed. She wasn't used to giving up so much about her personal life to a complete stranger so quickly, but this woman was a professional, and Blair needed her.

"That was smart of you, Blair. You're too young to handle all of this on your own, and if no one is there to listen to you're problems you're going to explode. I'm glad you're here. I'll help you through everything."

Blair's meetings with Dr. Mason always seemed to make her feel better, she was amazing at her job, and she helped Blair get over all the little things that were wrong in her life. They met three times a week, four if Blair was having that bad of a day. She needed all the time she could get to spill out her extremely complicated and drama filled life to Dr. Mason.

They talked about anything and everything that had ever bothered Blair growing up. Blair came to see Dr. Mason as a friend, and she was no longer afraid to tell her about the most personal things that had happened in her life, they just came out naturally.

With all the sessions they'd been having, Dr. Mason felt as though she knew everyone in Blair's world as well as she knew anyone in her own. Blair gave such in-depth details and backgrounds on every single person who had ever touched her life, it made Emily's job much easier, but she still had to get Blair to face her fears, and the main fear always seemed to be rejection from Nate, as she had mentioned time and time again.

Once they'd been meeting for about 4 weeks, Blair started to show.

"Oh! I just don't know what I'm going to do!" she exclaimed one day. "I need to talk to Nate so badly, but I'm just so afraid he'll turn his back on me, and I just can't take anymore rejection, especially from him."

"Blair, from what you've told me about Nate I don't think he would turn his back on you when you need him." Dr. Mason pointed out.

"Yes, but he's done it before." Blair said, referring to their relationship problems in junior year. "I needed him so much then, and he just left."

"Blair," Dr. Mason reprimanded her softly. "Last time you two had problems you had cheated, or so he wanted to think. But the two of you got over it, you were in love again. Too much bickering was the thing that caused your relationship to fail this time, it wasn't anything like cheating. You two needed a break from each other, and in this four-week period, I think you've gotten it. It's time to go back to Nate. If you don't try to fix things now, you never will."

Blair couldn't think of anything to say to prove Dr. Mason wrong, she was just too good at her job. Blair was glad she'd come here, it was the perfect escape from her crazy life.

"I guessed you're right." Blair finally conceded. "But what if he doesn't want me back? What if our relationship is over, for good? How am I going to deal with the baby? I know I can't do it by myself, and no one loves me enough to take care of me and a baby." Blair confessed, it was true: her mother was constantly gone, Serena had been swept up in the world of modeling, even Chuck was better off. No one was left to take care of Blair when she couldn't take care of herself; they were off succeeding in life, just like they had been destined to do.

"Nate does, and it'll work out. I have a feeling about you, Blair Waldorf, you make things happen, you don't just settle for what comes to you. But you have to remember that you can't go looking for happiness, you have to let that come to you, or else you'll never be truly happy. Nate will take you back, and he'll take care of you and the baby. He'll do it because he loves you Blair, no matter how much you want to think he doesn't. And he'll love the baby. You have nothing to worry about, you're going to end up alright, Blair, that's one thing you don't have to worry about."

Blair thought about what Emily had said, she wished it could be true, that love could be that easy, but somehow she knew it would still be difficult to get Nate to take her back. There was no way Dr. Mason could be completely correct, she had never met Nate, just the perfect figment Blair had carved him out to be. But she decided to be courteous anyway, just because.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Mason. You've really helped me out so much over these past few weeks. I don't know what I'd do without you're support." That much was true; Dr. Mason really was a life saver.

"You're welcome Blair, and tell me how it goes with Nate. Call me or just come back here if you need to see me again, I'll be here. And I expect to see pictures of that baby when it's born." Dr. Mason said in closing, it was their last meeting, they had decided that since they had covered Blair's whole life in a month that it was time for her to start facing her problems on her own, but Dr. Mason promised to always be there for support.

"Okay, I will, thanks again." Blair called on her way out the door.

As soon as Blair got home she pulled out her phone and called Nate's cell. He pictured up after two rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey Nate, its Blair."

Nate's tone became guarded. "Oh, hey Blair, what do you need?"

Blair noticed the change of his tone, she tried not to left it scare her, but, of course, it did. Then she remembered what Dr. Mason had told her and started talking. "Actually, we need to talk, it's crucial."

"Well I'm kind of busy today and tomorrow. I really don't know what I'll be available." He informed her.

"Okay, well what are you doing? I could help out, or just tag along; we really need to talk though, as soon as possible."

"I really don't know Blair." Nate said, getting irritated. "I'm busy all day, and you can't just 'tag along' all day, I've got too much to do."

"Nate, stop trying to avoid me" Blair said more forcefully, we broke up over a month ago. I really need to talk to you, and you putting it off isn't helping anyone. Can you please just come over?"

Nate paused, deliberating, then he answered in a huff. "Yeah, sure, I'll be over in ten minutes, do you need anything while I'm out?"

"No, I'm fine; I'll just be waiting on you. Bye."

After hanging up with Nate, all of Blair's courage dissolved. She had no idea what she would do when Nate actually did arrive at her apartment.

She decided to call Dr. Mason.

"Did you two make up already?" The doctor asked as a greeting.

Blair let out a laugh, "If only it were that easy. But no, I just called him and told him to come over, but I'm nervous now, and I have no idea what to do."

"Blair, the first thing you need to do is calm down, you won't be able to get through any of this when you're as stressed out as you are, plus, its not good for the baby."

"Okay, I'm calm." Blair declared after a few seconds. "Go on."

"Alright, you really just need to let everything happen naturally. You overanalyze everything too much as it is, just say what you need to say and let him respond. I can't be there to help you through it Blair, this is all you, but that past few weeks of meetings have all been preparations for this conversation with Nate. Good luck, Blair, you'll be fine. I have to go now, alright sweetheart? I have a patient. Bye." Then Dr. Mason hung up.

Once Blair was off the phone with Dr. Mason she only had to wait a few more minutes until Nate arrived. She sat, waiting, on her living room couch, then the elevator bell rang, signaling a visitor.

Blair watched as Nate emerged from the elevator. He didn't look nearly as mad as he had sounded on the phone, but she didn't want to take any chances, after her announcement he'd probably end up being pissed anyways.

"Uh, hey. How are you?" Blair asked timidly as she approached him in the foyer.

"Pretty okay, what about you?"

"I'm-I'm good, but there's something I need to tell you."

"Yeah, I got that much from you're call." He stopped; waiting for her to say whatever it was that was so important for her to tell him. "So, are you going to tell me?"

"Uh, yeah, in a minute, but you have to promise not to get mad." She bargained.

"Okay, whatever, I won't get mad. Now what is it? I still have things to do, you know."

"I'm pregnant." Blair blurted out, and upon realizing what she'd just let escape, she covered her mouth, waiting for Nate's response.

Blair watched as he processed the news. He didn't appear to be mad, but Nate had never really been one to show his feelings off. The closer she examined him, though; she noticed that his reaction never changed. But he had to be feeling _something,_ right?

"You-you're what?" Nate said slowly, fumbling for the words, he hadn't expected that.

"Pregnant, I'm pregnant Nate." Blair confirmed, thankful that he wasn't acting so nonchalant about it now.

"And? Are you sure it's mine? I mean last time you had a scare you didn't even know whose it was, and now you're telling me that you really are pregnant, and you expect me to think it's mine? Well, whose baby is it Blair?" Nate said, his voice rising as he got angrier.

The sudden rise in his voice made Blair mad as well, she was just as angry as he was, but for other reasons.

"I can't believe you even have the nerve to bring that up Nathanial Archibald, you know damn well you're the only person I've been with since the whole Chuck debacle. It's you're child Nate; it wouldn't be anyone's but yours." Blair chocked back the tears threatening to come; there was a lump in her throat. She knew this would happen; she hated how much control Nate had over her emotions.

"No, actually I don't know that. We've been broken up for about a month, you could have been with god knows how many men, how can I believe you?"

"Because, ever since we broke up I've been missing you more and more; I can't stop thinking about you, and us. Then, when I found out I was pregnant I was too scared to tell you. I didn't know how you would react and I was scared you'd be mad at me. I've been going to a therapist; she's the one that convinced me to come see you. We mostly just talk about you, and the baby; she's been helping me through a lot." Then the tears started flowing, she tried to stop them, but she knew it was inevitable. She hated when he saw her cry, but maybe he wouldn't yell if he saw she was already torn up about everything.

Nate was silent for a few seconds. He could tell she probably wasn't lying about anything this time, and even if she was, he didn't want to know about it, he'd missed her too much in the past month.

"Wow, so its - the baby – it's really mine?" He asked

Blair nodded her head as she whipped the tears from her eyes. "Of course it is. I'd never have someone else's baby."

"I'm sorry. Blair, sweetheart, I'm so sorry, I'm an asshole." He said as he rushed over to her and enveloped her into a hug and kissed her hair.

Blair held onto him as she tried to stop crying so she wouldn't ruin his shirt. She was glad he wasn't mad, and he seemed to be okay with everything, and he was comforting her, which was a plus. She just had to get him to take her back now, but it would be stupid of him not to, he had clearly missed her as much as she'd missed him.

After a few seconds of holding her, Nate decided to break the silence.

"So, um, do you want to get back together? I'm sorry for being an ass about everything last time, it's just, sometimes I like to take care of things by myself, and it's just kind of hard when you always want to do everything for me. But we can work this out, right? I mean if you'll still take me." He paused, then added with a smirk,"We're having a baby together, I can't have you by yourself." To lighten the mood.

He said it right, exactly how she wanted him to. They were almost the exact words she'd replayed over and over in her head this past month, dreaming of their reconciliation. He'd admitted to his flaws and said he'd wanted her back. Now all she had to do was give her answer.

At first she only nodded, she wasn't sure what would come out if she opened her mouth to say something, but a nod seemed safe.

The nod seemed to work for Nate, because as soon as he saw it, he squished her into another hug, which she had to push away from because she still didn't know how much pressure she was aloud to take on her stomach.

Once Nate realized why she pulled away he smiled, then ducked his head down to press his lips against hers for the first time in months.

Blair smiled up at him when they pulled away from each other for air, Nate smiled back, then he bent over and kissed her stomach playfully as he rubbed it with his hand.


End file.
